Phonemes
by Insanity Studios Ink
Summary: Just a series of 100-word Mericcup drabbles. Enjoy!


_This is an idea taken from_ _ **LJ9**_ _'s_ _ **Abecedarium**_ _. The idea is to take a prompt word and write a short, 100-word story based on that word. Prompt words start with a letter of the alphabet, and go in order. Hope that isn't too confusing. Phoneme means "letter of a writing system." I thought it an apt title._

~~oo00oo~~

Phonemes

~~oo00oo~~

 **Ambush**

The evening was clear, the sun cast a red glow onto the clouds in the sky. Hiccup and Merida lay peacefully on a hill overlooking the castle, watching the sun set. Merida had tucked herself in the crook of her partner's arm, and Hiccup's fingers traced lazily through her hair.

By the time it became almost too dark to see, they had packed up their blanket and headed for the castle. Their care-free attitude was the reason they suffered, they decided.

They found themselves suddenly very wet.

Water rained down on them, courtesy of Merida's brothers.

"YOU ARE SOOO DEAD!"

 **Bank Robbery**

"Everybody get down!"

Hiccup hit the floor, nearly landing on a woman with bright red hair. Unlike everyone else, she didn't seem very frightened.

"Not scared?" he whispered.

"Pah. He's an amateur." she scowled. "Didn't even bother to take the cellphones. Cover for me."

He stared wide-eyed, before helping the woman hide her phone from view while she dialed the police.

She slipped her phone in her pocket.

"Hey! Who the hell are you?" she yelled.

The robber dragged her up.

"I'm the guy takin' ya' hostage."

Her fist shot out, flattening the man.

Hiccup reckoned he was in love.

 **Cake**

Dark smoke billowed from the windows of the house on the hill. Four years ago, dragons would have been the culprit. Now, it was Merida. Curses flew freely out of her mouth as she fanned the smoke from the burnt cake away. Coughing followed soon after, and the groggy boy and the chief were soon downstairs fanning the smoke out the windows. Since the Scot had decided to stay in the chief's house during her visit to Berk, the number of accidents it the kitchen had increased.

"Another year, another fire." Hiccup said dryly, and she stuck her tongue out.

 **Delays** (Modern AU)

Hiccup checked the board again, sighing heavily. It was almost three in the morning, and he was supposed to have left five hours ago. He hated flying.

He looked at the woman sitting in the chair over. Her frizzy red hair was half covering her face as she snored. Her phone buzzed, and she awoke.

Hiccup watched as she swore at her phone.  
He looked up at the delay board, and saw it had been delayed again.

"You too, huh?" he asked her.

"Yep. I'm 12b." she said.

"12c," he said, smiling. "I'll be with you on the plane, too."

 **Eagle-eyed**

Two pairs of eyes watched the three girls crawling around the floor. One pair was forest green, the other an icy blue. The triplets had the reputation for being quite the troublemakers.

"Oh no you don't!" Merida said, scooping one off the floor and plucking a broken arrow out of her mouth.

Her husband's eyes glittered with amusement. "If you didn't leave your weapons lying around, we wouldn't have this much trouble." Hiccup called from the stove.

"Shut up!" she replied, but she smiled in spite of herself.

The other two took this opportunity to sneak off unnoticed. Oh no.

 **Farrier**

Clanging metal echoed around the shop as Hiccup pounded ruthlessly at the thin metal on the anvil; an entranced Merida watched in awe as sparks flew from the red-hot metal. Any other seventeen-year-old girl would have abandoned the forge for other, more interesting subjects. But not the young Scottish princess. Not to mention, he had taken his shirt off. His toned chest and stomach made her gawk, even though she had seen much worse. She smirked to herself as she remembered stumbling upon him when he had gone swimming in his skivvies. She thought it was funny; he hadn't.

 **Gifts** -Modern AU

The Christmas tree looked abandoned and forlorn. Merida scoffed as she stepped into her apartment. She had been meaning to decorate it, but had never had the time. She decided to do so now, so she dug around in the closet until she found her box. As she was about to hang the first decoration, the doorbell rang. She opened it to reveal Hiccup, who had his own box in his hands.

"I knew you wouldn't decorate it 'til last minute." he said, taking off his mittens and kissing her on the cheek. "So I brought your tree a gift."

 **Habitable** -Modern AU

"It isn't perfect." a man with brown hair and green eyes said.

"But it's good enough." finished his wife.

They were looking at the small cottage they had just bought. It was perfect for them, for now. The stone walls had a thin layer of moss on them, and the door came off the hinges, but it was livable. Their house was soon to be inhabited. Sure it needed a little work; but really, what didn't?

"If we build a room over there." said Hiccup, gesturing vaguely. "We can even have a guest room."

"Or a child's bedroom." added Merida.

 **Intensive Care Unit** -Hospital AU

"Jamie just got back from his tracheotomy, so he will probably be sleeping now. Penny got her Baclofen lowered to ten milligrams; she'll only need one during the med pass." Merida rattled off.

Her coworker -and husband- raised an eyebrow. "That it?"

"Yeah, that's all I can remember. It's all in the reports. Love you!"

Standing on her tiptoes, she gave Hiccup a kiss on the cheek before walking to the door. Hiccup touched his cheek. Being a RN had its perks.

She turned around with a smirk. "And I almost forgot. Don't wake me when you get home!"

 **Jagged**

Broken. Jagged. Torn. Merida DunBroch was shattered into a million pieces. She was sharp-edged, hurting those who tried to hold her close. Her bow was in her lap, but she wasn't shooting her arrows for once. A droplet of water fell on the polished wood. It had been a gift from her dad, this bow. The tears fell at a faster tempo now. The branch creaked in protest as another person joined her. Blue eyes met green. Hiccup hugged her tight, dulling her edges. His own tears mingled with hers as they mourned the Bear King's death. Fergus was gone.

 **Kiss**

It was her first Snoggletog on Berk. Through the years, she had thought that the Winter Solstice parties were pandemonium. She had never thought to imagine every Viking on Berk partying as if they would die tomorrow. Even now, she could barely comprehend it all. Off-key singing flooded from the Great Hall, and all sorts of contests had surfaced. Including hers with Hiccup. They stared intently at each other, neither daring to blink. Hiccup cupped her cheek suddenly, and brushed his lips to hers. Her eyes closed in bliss, and she felt him pull away.

"Hah! I win!"

"YOU CHEAT!"

 **Love (?)**

"Mom, I have an issue."

Merida looked up from her sewing. "Yes, lass?"

Her oldest daughter, Helga, wore a scared expression. Taking Helga by the hand, Merida led her to her bedroom, sitting her down.

"I think I like this boy."

"It's okay, sweetheart. Just remember that looks aren't everything. Take Dad for example. He's dead ugly-"

Merida stopped when she saw Helga's face. She had never looked more shocked in her life.

"Okay..." Merida admitted. "Maybe his is kind of handsome."

Her daughter gave her a pointed look.

"Okay, yes! I thought I was supposed to be teaching you!"

 **Movies** (Modern AU (Duh))

"Hey, that's my seat."

Hiccup looked up from his popcorn to see a woman, arms loaded with Milk Duds, scowling at him.

"Ma'am, there's no specific seating in this theater." he told her, smiling kindly.

"I don't care. This is my seat, and I'm going to sit in it if it kills me." she snapped at him.

Hiccup held up his arms, surprised. "Alright, here's your seat. Sorry."

She smirked at him in victory, sitting in the vacated chair. Hiccup moved exactly one chair over from where he had been, and sat down.

They were holding hands by the end.

 **NO!**

"Can you please eat your vegetables?"

"No!

"At least three spoonfuls?"

"No! I don't want them!"

"You have to eat them, sweetheart."

"NO!"

"Helga Haddock! You eat the food on your plate!"

"No, Mommy, I want to play!"

Merida sighed. Getting the young child to eat anything green was like pulling teeth. She was a stubborn one, that was for sure. She wondered with a smirk where Helga had gotten _that_ from. 'Definitely Hiccup.' she told herself sarcastically. Her mother must have been an angel to deal with her as a child.

 **Orders**

A stupid wagon full of stupid wood trinkets, and one very stupid crow.

"But I didn't want all of this wood! Take it back!"

"Sign the paper! Sign the paper!" the crow crowed.

"Could you please just take it back to the witch?" Merida tried again.

"Sign the paper! Sign the paper!" the crow repeated.

"TAKE IT BACK! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF BEARS!"

"Sign the paper!"

Ten minutes later, when an irate Merida stormed through the castle, Hiccup didn't bother questioning her when she muttered about throttling a crow. He would poke fun later, when he didn't value his life.

 **Pancakes**

"Happy Mother's Day!"

Hiccup and Merida blearily sat up, the former rubbing his eyes and the latter covering a large yawn.

Their triplets held out a platter of pancakes, slightly burnt and smothered in syrup.

"Oh, thank you! Breakfast in bed, eh?"

Hiccup smiled and hugged his kids, while Merida pulled them in, kissing them.

They ate happily, paying the girls complements on their cooking. Once finished, Merida stood up.

"Alright, let me take the plate downstairs."

The girls' faces froze.

"You did clean up, right?" Hiccup asked.

"Maybe…."

"Oh my god! How did you get batter on the ceiling?!"

 **Queen**

Merida feared the day she would become queen. How could she ever live up to the bar her mother set? Her mother was quiet and well-tempered, the perfect embodiment of the royal family. And she was none of those.

And yet, her husband told her she would be the greatest yet. He held her tight, murmuring words of reassurance into her hair as he kissed her forehead. She knew she would be a great queen, but not because of what he thought.

She knew she would be the best queen in an age because she had her king beside her.

 **R** **evelation** (Continuation of Habitable)

"Or a child's bedroom." added Merida.

Hiccup turned slowly to face her, a gob-smacked expression on his face.

She smiled at him.

His face slowly lit up as it dawned on him.

"Really?!"

His voice was unusually high-pitched, his eyes wide with excitement.

She smiled even wider at him.

"You're not pulling my leg, are you?" he asked, grasping her shoulders.

She hugged him, and positively beamed up at him.

"I'm pregnant, Hiccup."

He looked like he was going to explode.

"A child's bedroom it is." he said to no-one particular.

"OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO BE A DAD!"

 **Safety**

Merida yawned as she woke up. She could feel the incredible warmth Hiccup radiated, and his arms around her, one across her stomach and another behind her shoulders. She snuggled into his side and smiled sleepily.

He shifted against her, hugging her to him. Her breathing started to even out again as she fell into that in-between state before sleep. She felt warmth seem into her bones, laying her mind at ease.

Her eyes fell closed, and she drifted slowly off to sleep again, clinging to Hiccup, who in turn held just as fiercely.

They had never felt more safe.

 **Ticklish**

"Are you ticklish?"

Merida turned to look at her best friend.

Playfully frowning at him, she placed her hands on her hips.

"And just why do you want to know, young man?"

"I'm ticklish." he told her.

Her eyes lit up with delight, and he quickly backed away. "Oh, no. I'm trying to figure out if _you're_ ticklish."

He suddenly pounced on her, the two of them tumbling to the floor as her mercilessly tickled her. She squealed, kicking her legs to get away.

"Let me goooo!" she howled.

"Never!" Hiccup crowed. "Surrender!"

"Fine, I surrender! Now help me up!"

 **Umbrella** (Prostitute!Merida AU)

Merida stood alone on the corner, her normally frizzy hair soaked as the rain poured down. Her teeth chattered and her shoulders shook with shivers. She was absolutely miserable.

Suddenly, the rain stopped. She looked up, and saw an auburn-haired guy holding an umbrella over her head. He smiled at her, and gestured for her to take it. She did, confused, and felt a weight on her shoulders. The guy had wrapped her in his coat, then disappeared into the rain.

In the pocket, she found a chocolate bar.

Tears gathered in her eyes. Decent humans did exist, after all.

 **Vertigo**

Merida glanced nervously at Toothless, then at Hiccup, who was smiling encouragingly.

"Come on, it's easy."

"Ohh, it's not what I'm worried about." she said, glancing at the dragon again.

"Uh, is it Toothless? You know he won't do anything to you."

"Not him, either."

His face scrunched as he thought.

"Oh! I'm not going to do any tricks with you on. Not yet, anyway."

Merida seemed to turn green at the thought.

"Hiccup, I'm scared of heights." she whispered.

His eyes softened, and he hugged her comfortingly, whispering soft words into her hair.

"Let me show you the sky."

 **Wanderlust**

Hiccup stared at the horizon as he added a new island to his ever-growing map. He checked his compass, and smiled.

Every time that he used it, he was reminded of Merida.

"Use this, so that you can always find your way back to me." she had told him.

They say that home is where the heart is, and Hiccup knew exactly where his heart was; with his wife, who had effectively stolen his heart forever. He knew that no matter how far he traveled, no matter who he met, he would always find a way back home, to Merida.

 **X-mas**

"Mommy! Daddy! It's Christmas!" three voices shouted, the girls climbing on them and poking them.

"Five more minutes." Hiccup groaned.

One of the triplets jabbed him in the back with cold feet, and he sat up with a gasp.

"All right, all right, I'm up." he grumbled.

The tree girls cheered, making their mom moan and cover her head with a pillow. Hiccup, deciding to be daring, took his pillow and whopped it down. Her muffled yells though two pillows had the father and daughters running into the living room, while a mother screaming insults between laughter chased them down.

 **Yarn**

"And then Grandad and Toothless killed the nasty big dragon, and saved the world!"

Their grandchildren sat in rapt attention as Merida spun a yarn about Hiccup's defeat of the Red Death.

"Isn't that right, dear?" she asked.

"Hmm? Well, not quite." he said, sitting up from the chair he had been napping in. "I didn't have my flight suit then. Or a cannon."

The children moaned in disappointment.

Merida glared at him. "Now see what you've done!"

Hiccup smiled, and turned to the kids. "Did you ever hear the story of how Grammy turned her mom into a bear?"

 **Zodiac**

"What's your zodiac?"

Hiccup looked up at his girlfriend. "Hmm?"

They had just started dating, and were eating dinner at a fast-food place.

She set down her soda-pop, and asked again. "What zodiac are you? Gemini? Aries? Taurus?"

"I'm a Pisces."

She nodded, thinking. "That fits you. Yeah, I can see that."

He shrugged his shoulders, biting into his burger. "You?"

"April 19th. I'm an Ares."

"Mmm, violent, aggressive, passionate, and a cusp. Sounds about right."

She elbowed him playfully. "Hey now, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing!" he laughed, elbowing her back.

"Right." she grumbled, but she was smiling.

~~oo00oo~~

 _Here we are! I'd love to say I typed this up in a matter of weeks, but in all honesty, this one's been kickin' around since forever. Probably about two years. Yeah, that long ago, back when I was a horrid writer (still am, but meh), and naive to the ways of writer's block._

 _As Billy Wilder said on his grave: "I'm a writer, but then no one's perfect."_

 _Which one was your favorite?_


End file.
